My Christmas plans have changed.

If you are a parent of adult children, you know your plans for Christmas are not your own. Originally, Chris and Courtney were coming down to be in Miami on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, as were A.J., Justin, Wyatt and Phoenix. At this time, I was thinking how crazy it was going to be with two sets of parents, four grandchildren and two rambunctious dogs all under the same roof. Sort of like Home Alone, but we weren’t going to Paris, only to my Mom’s for Brunch. And then things changed.

A.J. told me they were now coming BEFORE Christmas and would leave the 24th. Then Christopher and Courtney revealed newborn Luke HATES the car seat and they didn’t want to suffer through eight hours of a baby screaming his lungs out, all the way to Miami. Fa la la la la. So my Christmas plans went from a full house, to an empty one. Wah, wah.

Zeke immediately understood. “They just want to be in their own house for Christmas.”  And Kelley concurred as well, remembering once when she lived in Tallahassee, and drove down to stay with our parents for Christmas. Santa delivered toys for her three kids in Miami, at my parent’s house.

It was a shit show.

she said.

So, I do get it. I don’t think I ever came down to my parent’s house when I lived in Tallahassee, preferring to come later Christmas Day, or the day after. Still, Wyatt and Phoenix will be out of school for a couple weeks and I’ll only see them a few days and, Liam and Luke, not at all.

The thing about Christmas is there are so many expectations which often aren’t met. I think it leads to that crashing Post-Christmas let down. I had expected all my grandchildren to be at my house for Christmas, and now I will have none. Not even Lauren will be here, as she’s staying at Emma’s.

We did get invited to Noche Buena by Guillermo’s family, so we will go there Christmas Eve, instead of cooking the big Christmas Eve dinner we usually do. For this, I am relieved. I’ve always wanted to attend a Noche Buena and now I’ll finally get my chance. My Mom has a great Brunch Christmas morning and this year, instead of giving everyone gifts as we have in the past, we’re exchanging gifts only with who we picked as their “Secret Santa.”

I wasn’t even going to participate in the beginning (now, that’s being a real Scrooge) but then I decided “what the heck”. Elise informed us of our person via the app “Elfster”, where participants can also list items they want on their Wish list. My person at first had nothing on their gift list; now they’ve listed a couple gift cards. Which I guess makes it easy? But also impersonal. I will supplement this with some homemade Biscotti, my signature cookie for Christmas.

I was telling someone about Secret Santa and she confessed her and her sister don’t exchange gifts for Christmas. “If I see something I think she’ll like during the year, I’ll buy it for her, but otherwise… And what do I need? Nothing,” she said. “I’m actually trying to declutter, not get more stuff.”

It’s true.

Even though I’m known as being a “good gift-giver,” some years are duds. Some years I’m just uninspired. It’s hard work trying to find the “perfect” gift for someone. And you don’t want to be that person running out to CVS buying Bath Salts, Ferrero Rocher Chocolates and a 2-pack of Disposable lighters on Christmas Eve, because you don’t know what to else to get. Even though, personally, I would welcome all these gifts, along with a pack of black Pilot pens. The tradition of buying gifts and the materialistic feeding frenzy that ensues is definitely my least favorite part about Christmas.

I was trying to think of my favorite part of Christmas- the songs? the movies? the decorations? But, no, it’s being able to spend time with friends and family. And, at Christmastime, as I send out my Christmas Cards, I enjoy remembering friends and family I may not have seen in years. It’s a way to keep in touch, update them on our family and send good wishes for a New Year. I love getting Christmas Cards as well, although they seem to be getting rarer and rarer these days.

So, while I won’t have the grandchildren this Christmas, I will have my first Noche Buena with my future in-laws, a Brunch with family and friends at the childhood home I grew up in and a Lasagna Dinner Christmas night with my first cousin Doug, his wife Cori and my cousins. I will take my joy where I can get it this year and start planning visits to Tallahassee and Saint Augustine in the new one.

Up Next: Almond Orange Biscotti Recipe