I just went through twenty-one years of gift and department store bags. How did I go so long without going through them? Why did I keep so many?

I especially had a lot of silver Nordstrom bags, but also take-out bags, Brooks Brothers bags, Neiman Marcus bags (must have been lunch) and Abercrombie and Fitch bags with the hunky guys decorating them. Those I kept. Also, gift bags for every occasion from Valentine’s Day to Christmas and plain brown paper bags with handles. Little bitty bags and huge, enormous bags, I have them all. I have a problem with holding on to things and, a good bag is a good bag, but I got rid of about half of them. And it felt good.

I just listened to a podcast with Mel Robbins and the Home Edit team and they said things in the home should fall into one of three categories. Need, use & love. There was also a fourth category of sentimental value, but they said that one is a slippery slope. They said if someone says their Aunt Martha’s sweater “means a lot” to them, and yet they stash it in the back of the closet, they question whether it is actually precious to them. And, if you really want to keep something that has sentimental value, you should either honor it or display it. Otherwise, it needs to go.

They also said someone saying they “should” keep something is extremely suspect. “Should” is another slippery slope, apparently. Like “I should keep it because so-and-so gave it to me”, or “I should keep it because it belonged to so-and-so”. Shoulds are not enough to justify room in your house.

They said the closet is a loaded gun (theoretically), and that getting rid of clothes is often very hard for people because of the emotional attachment involved. I have many clothes I will never wear (or fit into) that I keep because I can’t bear to get rid of them. Some of them remind me of the kids when they were little, or a happy time in my life, or my Mom’s Levis she gave me, that she wore as a teenager. How do I get rid of those? It’s those emotional landmines I’ve run into while packing this house. They are in my closet, but also in every single room. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom. I’m dying a thousand deaths every day I pack.

Some people I’ve talked to say they couldn’t imagine having to pack up their house of 20, 30, 40 years. I, at one point, thought the same. I thought I’d be buried in this house- that it would be the kid’s problem to deal with. But, is that the right attitude? It does feel freeing to get rid of stuff, to release items of a life I imagined that didn’t occur. It is freeing and excruciating at the same time. Maybe it’s why people don’t move, because it’s just so damn hard. But I do think it’s better to deal with it now, than waiting for the kids to have to deal with it later.

And I was just thinking today, if my main purpose of selling this house was to go through everything and clean it all out and organize it, I could have done that a long time ago. But who in their right mind would do that without the motivation of a move? I’m not a neat freak, nor am I Marie Kwondo. But, I have to remind myself, it wasn’t the main purpose of selling this house. I want to downsize and simplify my life. One story (instead of two), one roof (instead of three), two air conditioners (instead of five), a small yard (instead of one with 100 palm trees). In addition, our new house has solar panels, which will reduce the electric bill and also has a heated pool and generator, which we don’t have at this house.

Still, after 21 years living here, with six kids and two grandchildren and four visiting, it’s been a lot to go through. I am in the thick of it now, but I think I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.