So, this is the way my 5-year-old grandson Phoenix explained our present situation to his Mom A.J.

“Bop didn’t like the little house and Gigi didn’t like the big house, so they decided they wouldn’t get either house.”

It sounds like the plot of a P.D. Eastman book (Big Dog, Little Dog), but that is, in fact, what happened.

I was semi-panicking over this very important decision. Talk from my realtor of “your forever home” didn’t help matters with the pressure. We had a contract on the house in Gables by The Sea. Something came up with the pipes in the inspection, but the owners were giving us a credit. We extended the original second deposit due date, but it was coming due on Wednesday.

In the meantime, on the Friday before, we put a contract in on the house in Old Cutler Grove and were having inspections done on Monday. The results were supposed to be done by Tuesday night, just in the nick of time to decide between the two houses. I felt a lot of pressure and spoke to my Mom who said “I think you should get out of both contracts.”

I groaned.

It had taken so long to finally settle on a house that worked for us. To start from scratch, to begin at square one, was not an appealing solution to me. Plus, I wanted to get the matter settled before we left on vacation. It was such a big decision, however, and I felt pressured about it. I rarely make good decisions under pressure and I also felt panicked and confused about this one. There was no clear answer, pray as I might.

I talked to Zeke and suggested we get out of both contracts, because I wouldn’t be happy in the big house and he wouldn’t be happy in the “small” house. While I was ready to let go of my choice, he wasn’t as ready to let go of his. He was really, for some reason, determined to buy that big house. To me, a 5000 square foot house with a huge yard and three air conditioners felt like a burden, the way our present house has come to feel. An albatross around my neck. Eventually and very reluctantly, he relented.

We went through with the inspection on the big house anyway, with the same inspector we had for the little house. The result? His estimation was between 85 and 100K to fix up what was wrong with the house. To me, this was validation that we made the right choice.

And, all the while, I kept looking at houses. At least one every day, during the week. None of them worked for us. Most of them are flips and they all started to look the same. Slatted wood, waterfall countertops made of quartz, recessed lighting, big tile floors and an open concept. I like a separate dining room and separate living and family rooms. None of the updated houses have this. I also wanted a tub in the primary, with separate sinks in the bathroom and a large closet. Harder to find than you would think.

Zeke let the realtor know we were pulling out of the big house contract. He was disappointed, but understood. And now we are back to where we started. Square one.

Up Next: I Wish I Knew!